It's Getting Bigger!!!

I'm sure there are feet down there, somewhere


It just suddenly started to grow. After almost 8 months, bump put on a final spurt. I thought it was big enough. I thought it couldn’t get any bigger, but I was proved wrong.
And then we started the Antenatal classes, and I realised just how big these bumps could really get. Kath was one of 3 in class due in the same week. And these 3 were the ‘most advanced’. Kath was by far apparently the ‘smallest’, although one of the other ladies was having twins (I always liked the idea of twins, but the ‘blimpesque’ appearance and problems with the most basic of tasks, like how do you get close enough to the door handle to open the door? And once you’ve opened the door, how do you get through? Has put me off somewhat). However, I was pleased to hear Kath’s bump described by the Health Visitor as ‘Neat’. I like to think that this means bump is well packaged, rather than the Health Visitor being a drug crazed hippy from the seventies.

Antenatal classes were not as bad as I had expected. The images I had of a large group of couples sitting around on the floor, playing with dolls, practising breathing and pelvic floor exercises, whilst the fathers are systematically patronised by the midwife were all in my head. Of course, I didn’t make it easy for myself by missing the first class because of work commitments. According to the Midwife, being 300 miles away was no excuse, and next week she expected to see me at Kath’s side. That was me told – I didn’t miss another class.

We had our tour of the hospital’s maternity wing during there regular weekend ‘open hour’. It was Sunday, around midday, and a couple of dozen people turned up to look around. Couples, parents, children. Obviously a popular venue for a wet winter weekend’s free entertainment. The Facilities in York District Hospital appear to be very comprehensive, and security equivalent to what was in place in Alcatraz. The tour was only spoilt by period blood curdling screams from the labour ward. Very off-putting and so inconsiderate. What were they thinking of? It was Sunday lunchtime ant there was a tour on. They’ve been in labour for 24 hours – couldn’t they just wait another 10 minutes? Honestly, some people.


"It's getting bigger, missus"


I get the feeling the dogs are aware that ‘things they are a changin’. Not least because their routine is up in the air at the moment as we replan dog activities over the coming months, And probably because they now get shouted at by ‘Missus’ when Kath gets nosed in the bump. Ouch!

Billy In The Wars

Not A Happy New Year


It was just after Christmas. A small growth on the top of his front right paw. It looked like an infected hair follicle, but we’d made a mental note to keep an eye on it, just in case.
Within 10 days it had swollen to the size of a thimble. (For those of you not old enough to remember what a thimble is, it’s probably the same size as you MP3 player), so Kath took him off to see the Vet.
‘Ahh yes’ said the Vet. ‘It looks like a Histiocytoma’ as if we were fully conversant with a wide range of canine maladies. A chunk was extracted for a biopsy and we waited a few days for the results.

The biopsy was confirmed as a Histiocytoma, a benign tumour of the foot which usually goes away of it’s own accord after a few weeks. However, this type of tumour is usually limited to dogs under 2 years of age. Billy is 4 now, so to be on the safe side was admitted to ‘have it off’.



Billy Convalescing


He needed a general anaesthetic, so the Vet also took the opportunity to pull out a couple of teeth whilst she was at it. Greyhounds have notoriously bad dental hygiene. When he came home, he was not surprising quite miserable. But was very pleased with the bright red elasticated bandage he now wore with pride. The Vet had indicated that the dressing would need to stay on for up to 2 weeks. Because of the location of the tumour and the lack of surplus skin, the stitching proved quite difficult and needed a good time to heal thoroughly.

Although he was very happy inside, he did feel a bit of prat out on walks. To keep the dressing as clean as possible, he had to have his foot strapped in to a plastic bag. This had the annoying habit of crunching as he walked, and you could just see the look of embarrassment on his face. However, all of this was about to end.



The Ultimate In Canine Footware


A few days later, the dressing needed to be changed. Not only did he now sport a bright blue bandage, but he returned from the Vet with a bright silver boot for outdoor wear. Walks now took on a new dimension as he pranced around with an air of smugness and superiority. None of his other canine friends had a silver boot. How special was he? In the end we felt that he had got his monies worth when he wore a hole in the sole.

And what of Dune during this period? Although concerned for her friend, her attention seeking nature obviously noticed that she was (for once) loosing out. In an attempt to redress the balance, she started to chase squirrels in the garden. Not being the sharpest tool in the box she had not worked through the conclusions of chasing a squirrel at 40mph towards a large tree. The squirrel duly went up and Dune body checked the trunk. She limped back to the house looking quite despondent and covered in bruises that made her look like the victim of a minor car accident, but no worse for wear.

Billy has since made a full recovery, and would like to thank everyone of his fans for sending him ‘get well’ cards.

We are just pleased that his breath now smells a little less unpleasant.

A Bit Of An Aberration?

The Final Effect


And so on to the more feminine side of the DIY business. Something I’ve only ever had a limited involvement in. Soft Furnishings. We’ve painted the walls a non-committal pale yellow. We’ve settled on a practical, if not somewhat boring beige carpet. We’ve painted all of the woodwork, including the fitted wardrobes a neutral ‘Barley White’. This leaves us with ‘options’ in the final colour scheme. Do we go for something tasteful and co-ordinated? Or something with a single accent colour?

No. I suppose it’s because I’ve never had the opportunity to decorate a children’s room before, but I felt that this was a chance for all out ‘visual stimulation’. A riot of colour on a neutral background. A mixture of bright and contrasting. I justify this extravagance to myself by saying that it provides so much more flexibility in the future.

After all, all we have to do is change the linen to provide a bedroom with a ‘more adult’ feel in a few years time. But the fact of the matter is, I really fancied something quite extreme. And in a few years time, the practical beige carpet will be covered in sick stains and the pale yellow walls will be covered in crayons, so the whole room will probably need to be redecorated anyway.

So the final effect? Deep rusty red curtains and bedding in a mixture of yellow, orange, red and magenta.


'Visual Stimulation'

And just for those of you are thinking – ‘Ahh! Those are girl colours!’, first of all I must say that you’re off your head. If I’d decked the room out in Barbie pink I’d have to agree. But for a bit of balance, we’ve included an alternative set of blue, navy and green linen as well…


Keeping our options open

So I'm sorry if this doesn't help you in your decision of Baby Bump's gender. The jury's still out on this one.

Thick Pickings

At just over 34cm long, 22cm in circumference and weighing 2lb 2oz, this must have been the king of carrots for me this season. This was primarily due to the fact that I had left my autumn carrots in the ground rather than lifting and storing them as recommended. January saw the lifting of all of my overwintering crops, with the exception of the Purple Sprouting Brocoli.

Not having anywhere suitable to store my winter crops (I seem to have a large number of mice claiming assylum in my garage this winter - they have made their way through all of my wooden paint brush handles, so I wouldn't hold out a lot of hope for some fresh vegatables), I have had to stick with my 'harvest as required' approach. It became apparent during November that this was not sustainable, particularly with the carrots which seemed to attract slugs from all over the neighbourhood.

My 'Early Nantes' were very disappointing earlier in the year - with very poor flavour and no real keeping ability, especially in the ground where they sucumbed to pests and quickly rotted away. So I wasn't holding out a lot of hope for the late season crop. However, despite their lack of care and attention, Carrot 'Autum King Improved' proved to be quite a success. Those that had grown straight and hadn't forked (which were, admittedly, a minority) were more or less unaffected by pests, even in January. And the flavour was excellent. So when the time came for the spring cleanup a couple of weeks ago, everything was whipped out of the ground and either cooked and frozen or recycled to the compost heap.

In addition to the carrots, out came the Celeriac. Although a little on the small size, 'Monarch' proved to be a great success. Unlike the carrots, these kept well in the ground until the middle of January with no significant damage. The larger roots were lifted earlier on in the season and were eaten as soups or in casseroles. The smaller roots did continue to swell slightly through the season, but with careful preparation they yeilded a good crop. Like the carrots, these were parboiled and frozen (my one regret this season was not to buy another freezer until November)
The Leeks were equally successful - in fact probably the most satisfying veg of the season.

Always on of my favourites for cooking in winter, the 'Mussleburgh' (comparativelty small due to the close spacing) lasted well with a harvesting season from September. This year I'll be trying 2 crops and a different variety for an even longer season.

The swede ('Magres'), on the other had, were a bit of a disaster. One or two of the plants harvested early in the seaon were fine, and everything that was edible had a great flavour. Unfortunately around 90% of them failed to get much bigger than a golf ball, and I'm not really one for 'mini-veg' at the best of times. Although I'm sure that this was partially due to the the lack of fertility in my 'year 1' soil, but more to do with the lack of light and rainwater due to the border being overshadowed by a particularly vigourous and plum tree - something to think about for veg placement this season.

So how was my jumbo carrot? Well, as you would expect - very woody in the centre, covered in slug damage and generally inedible!

Nursery Finished, Ahead Of Schedule!

The Finished Nursery


At last, the DIY on the nursery is complete. Well, almost. There’s still a handle to put on the door, and a bit of trimming to complete, but in my book that definitely falls into the ‘nice to have’ category. Personally, I think door handles are over-rated anyway.

I’m really quite proud of this one. What started out as an exercise in boxing in the boiler and water cylinder has turned into a full-blown storage solution. And with the challenges of a sloping (and curved) ceiling, and dodgy brick and plasterwork, that’s no mean feat. We do indeed have an operational airing cupboard, currently undergoing a stress test after being filled with pre-washed reusable nappies. And we also have a suitably isolated boiler cupboard, Carbon Monoxide detectors, inbuilt halogen over-bed lighting and inbuilt electrics. Oh yes, I’ve really gone to town.

And just to top it off, we’ve installed a full set of wire storage racks, shelves and crates, all neatly stacked with baby things. Ergonomically organised for maximum usability and tidiness. Somehow I don’t see it staying this way for long….

The only things missing now are the soft furnishings. Apart from a baby, that is.